“The only thing that is keeping me from getting what I want is the story I keep telling myself”
- Oprah Winfrey
What is the story I keep telling myself?
I remember
As a little girl growing up on the island of Eleuthera, I did not develop as fast as most children did. I was what they called A LATE BLOOMER.
NOT JUST A LATE BLOOMER ~ A REALLY LATE BLOOMER well that’s what THEY said.
As I think about that now, Who was the ‘THEY’ to say when I should develop?
Ok so I did not walk until I was two years old and I did not talk until I was three years old. I don’t call that late I guess in my little two year old mind I didn’t have anywhere to go so why walk? and until I was three I didn’t have anything to say so why talk? (Smile)
My reality as I remember it or at least last night as I thought about this teaching “why was it that it took me so long to walk and talk?” According to “THEY”
I recall my mother taking me over and over again to the only doctor on the Island who said the same thing to my mom year after year “there is nothing wrong with her she will walk and talk at her own pace”
Now imagine you’re my mother, father and grandmother and four other children before me were running jumping before they were one year old and talking as well, and to make matters worse my younger sister had surpassed me by leaps and bounds.
You can see how they could lose faith but they never did. As time went on they kept the faith my grandmother would wash my feet in salt water everyday saying some prayer about washing away whatever was holding me back from walking. And my mother had conversations with me everyday.
During one of our conversations my mother was talking to me saying “You know shelly baby, I know you have a lot to say just the way you are looking at me and as she continued to talk to me .. a family member said to her “Why do you talk to Michelle as if she will talk back to you, You know that child dumb” well, my mother had some choice words for her, some really not very good words.
“Listen here my child, she will talk when she is good and you know what ready, until then I will talk to my child as much as I want to and who asks you what you think anyway?”
Well my mom look back at me and I was smiling then she said “That’s right shelly laugh at people who don’t have nothing good to say and who don’t have your best interest at heart”
Well it was a few more months after that a little after my third birthday I TALK and some people would say I haven’t shut up since.
But iam wondering today am I telling my self a victorious story of how my mother and grandmother believed in me or am I telling myself the story of that family member who called me DUMB and crack.
You see during that time if your development was slow you were considered crack like a crack in your brain.
Yes I grew up being told I was the crack one, carry your crack self and hearing “Don’t pay her no mind you know she crack”
If I’m honest am telling myself both stories because there have been so many things I wanted to do but that voice inside of me you know the one that self doubt one telling me “Don’t even try, because that’s too much for you, remember you didn’t walk until you were two and you didn’t talk until you were three and most children do all that before they are one year old”
How we live our lives is based on the story we keep telling ourselves.
But we can interrupt the trajectory of our life by changing our story.
We can look into the mirror of value and not see the word worthless.
We can look into the mirror of success and not see the word failure.
We can look into the mirror of intelligence and not see the word stupid.
We can look into the mirror of competence and not see the word inadequate.
We can look into the mirror of acceptance and not see the word rejected.
We can look into the mirror of confidence and not see the word insecure.
We can look into the mirror of comparison and not see the word inferior.
We can look into the mirror of performance and not see the words not good enough.
We can look into the mirror of sufficiency and not see the words not enough…period.
The story I am telling myself right now in this moment is this since My God took the time to create me fearfully and wonderfully made, since my God took the time to carve out plans for me and since my God longs to spend time with me everyday,
My story, my amazing story today is one of triumph, one where I win for with me winning, I am the answer to someone’s prayer and how dare I rob that someone, the world of me not showing up at my Best in answer to their prayer?
Don’t rob the world of the amazing you that YOU ARE. TELL YOURSELF A STORY OF VICTORY TODAY!!!
SOMEONE IS WAITING ON YOU AS THE ANSWER TO THEIR PRAYER!!